17-year-old attends family therapy with dad and stepmom, faces pushback for expressing true feelings: ' My dad decided seeing my family wasn't okay'

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Ally Perry • Writer and Editor
Apr 26, 2026 9:15 AM EDT

Therapy might be a safe space, but that doesn't mean that it won't occasionally hurt some feelings.

After all, part of engaging in the practice of bettering your mental health involves telling the truth to yourself and others. Repressing everything and keeping it stuck deep down inside of you is guaranteed only to make you feel worse, and may end up coming out in inappropriate ways, whether you like it or not. In other words, it is usually good to talk.

The thing is, our innermost thoughts and feelings are often not the ones that those around us are going to find the most palatable. In fact, they may have some less-than-complimentary things to say about them. For those who do one-on-one therapy, this is less of a problem; unless they so choose, nothing has to leave that room. In a group, couple, or family setting, though, there is a chance that things could get awkward. The truth can really hurt.

Still, if somebody feels the need to say something hurtful, there may well be a good reason for it. Those who get insulted would often do well to listen carefully to what they are saying, and truly think it through.

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  • A teenage boy rests his arm on his knee while sitting on a concrete structure outside
    via Dario Brönnimann

    A teenage boy rests his arm on his knee while sitting on a concrete structure outside

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • In this story, a teenage boy had experienced problems with his family ever since his dad married his stepmom after his mother's passing. The pair cut him off from his mom's side of the family and did not allow him to mourn her properly, while also expecting that he do that for the relatives of his stepmom. It had led to a lot of resentment and anger from him.

    Eventually, his dad and stepmom decided that family therapy would be a good idea to resolve some issues. Although he was silent at first, he decided that it was time to explore his true feelings. He didn't hold back, and this upset his dad and his wife. He wanted validation that he wasn't doing the wrong thing.

  • Am I wrong for using family therapy to say what I want to my dad and his wife without punishment?

    I (17M) can't stand my dad or his wife Annie. They got married when I was 8 and a bunch of decisions they made and rules they set down for me and for my family are things that drive me crazy. My mom died btw and I used to want to visit
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  • her grave and spend time with that side of my family. My dad decided seeing my family wasn't okay because they wouldn't include my stepsiblings in everything and treat them as their grandkids too. So I maybe got to see them once or twice a year if I was lucky. But because my dad still allowed minimal contact there was fuck all my
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  • mom's family could do regarding suing for visitation with me. My dad would have needed to end all contact for that to be an option and he was smart enough to know that. And instead of being with my family I was forced to be with Annie's ex-ILs, Annie's family and not even very often my dad's side of the family.
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  • My dad and Annie didn't have much to do with dad's side so that was shitty too because I didn't get to be with my REAL family. You know the people who were actually related to me and not just related to Annie or my stepsiblings.
    via Signal-Amount-5940
  • Then when it came to my mom's grave it was even more BS. Because I most wanted to spend time there on Mother's Day and my mom's birthday I was told no every time even if it wasn't those times. I was told Mother's Day was about celebrating Annie and the other moms in our lives. But we were all dragged to
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  • Annie and my dad's grandmothers graves on Mother's Day and for anniversaries and stuff. We were dragged to a bunch of graves for Annie's family members. I didn't mind so much visiting the graves of people I was related to but I resented that Annie could visit any of her family members
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  • graves she wanted and could make all the kids go, though all the other kids were hers so whatever, and I couldn't even one time visit my mom's grave. When I got old enough to go on my own I got punished for it.
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  • I got punished a lot for pushing back against Annie's attempt to be my parent and I have never called her my stepmom or my mom or even my family. I always called her my dad's wife and that was the one act of rebellion I stood by. Everything else like being rude and not listening and saying you're not my mom was punished more severely so I stopped.
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  • Some stuff still got me into trouble. Like not doing a reading at Annie's brother's funeral and keeping stuff from my dad and Annie because I didn't want to tell them shit. And for leaving out Annie, my step and my half siblings from a digital family tree project I had to do for school. And for not telling my dad and Annie about Mother's Day/Father's Day activities that I was invited to join.
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  • They decided 11 months ago to do family therapy before me and Annie's oldest are out of the house because they saw things were shit. At first I didn't want to be there so I was quiet for 8 months. But then I decided to use it to tell them what I think of them and of this blended family bullshit without getting into
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  • trouble. So I have said I hate them, I have said I think their rules were dumb, I told them I didn't give a fuck about Annie's family or her dead relatives and that none of them mean a single thing to me. I told them I would visit my mom's grave when I moved out and I would never celebrate a single holiday with them again. I told them I don't have any
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  • respect for them and there's still stuff they don't know because I'm not going to tell them shit. I told them I don't consider anyone in the house my family and my real family are now only my extended family. And I repeatedly say Annie isn't my mom and I never loved her or her kids and I never appreciated her being in my life and I don't consider her a good addition to my life.
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  • I repeat a bunch of stuff and I find more and more ways to say all this. They're angry because other than that I don't work out finding ways to make it better. I told the therapist I don't want to. So they say I'm abusing therapy and them. AITAH?
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  • A teenage boy rests his arm on his knee and looks to the side while sitting on a concrete structure outside
    via Dario Brönnimann

    A teenage boy rests his arm on his knee and looks to the side while sitting on a concrete structure outside

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • H_Alexa Well well well, if it isn't the consequences of their own actions NTA They alienated you from your moms family and are now bothered that you don't want to be part of their family.
    via H_Alexa
  • mocha_lattes Just make sure you have a plan for when you turn 18 so you can leave. Make sure you take anything you can of your mother's if it's still even around and all your stuff. NTA
    via mocha_lattes_
  • HarveySnake NTA Saying stuff like that is what you're supposed to do in that kind of therapy. The therapist probably felt you speaking was progress. This is exactly the kind of thing your dad and his wife should have expected you to say as well.
    via HarveySnake
  • Different-Airline672 NTA, good for you that you have an outlet for your feelings. Get it all out of your system. Remember, there is nothing you can say to her, nothing that could be considered as cruel as her keeping you from your mother's grave. I hope you get to spend more time with mom's family once you turn 18.
    via Different-Airline672
  • professionalmeangirl They stole your right to grieving and your sense of real belonging. Telling them what that has left you with isn't wrong. NTA
    via professionalmeangirl
  • InstructionEarly 1969 NTA. They alienated you from your family, what did they expect would happen?!
    via InstructionEarly1969
  • Taleya Sounds like therapy's working, they just don't like the outcome. Lotta people think therapy = 'make people act like i want', especially in family dynamics. They inevitably end up shocked pikachus ΝΤΑ
    via Taleya

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family drama teenager therapy stepmom dad grief family mom
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